Al Qeada Questions Legality of Killing US Citizen (Really-Not The Onion)

The Washington Post reports

"Al-Qaeda has...criticized the Obama administration for killing U.S. citizens, saying doing so “contradicts” American law."

al-Awlaki scimitar meets Koranic Sharpness

I'm guessing that somewhere in Dearbornistan, Michigan, there is a Law School that offers a double major in U.S. Constitutional Law and Sharia Mayhem.  Obviously there is also a minor in Public Relations. 


“Where are what they keep talking about regarding freedom, justice, human rights and respect of freedoms?!”, the statement from Al Qaeda said.


The Al Qaeda variant of terrorist is apparently very confused after taking great precaution to behead victims with razor sharp knives and scimitars.  Their concern for the well-being is established after giving fair-warning prior to committing mass jihads.  Scholars point to the traditional, "Allah Akbar!",
which is ample time for the jihadi to declare martyrdom and open the gates to 72 Virgins.  Although minority dissent in legal circles mention the actual victims rights, Mohammad makes it perfectly clear that every infidel is given ample time to convert to Islam, pay tribute and submit to slavery or die.


"But the killing of two U.S. citizens has prompted outrage among civil liberties groups, as well as a debate in legal circles about the basis for the administration's position."


After careful consideration of these objections from two primary groups, the ACLU has been declared a terrorist entity by the US State Department.  The other entity is Ron Paul.  Although the National Science Foundation could not entirely rule out that Paul may be "from another plant", he was declared "the crotchety old geezer on the corner", by several teenage sandlot baseball teams, who are still claiming the theft of their baseball was "and Inside Job".


"...an official from the State Department called the family last week to offer the government’s condolences." confirmed The Charlotte Observer.


Hey ya'all...sorry.  We reeeeeaaaaly apologize for killing your terrorist kin....we'd also like to express the direct condolences of the victims of Major Hassan as well.   They are  duuuuuuubly sorry for your loss.